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He startled me by sliding across to be closer and saying in perfect Russian, “Vodka, eh? Are you a spy?”“You speak Russian! Bravo. My name is Angie. I am fascinated by all foreign languages. If I hadn’t majored in business, I would have been a linguist.”“I’m Mark.” Over the next hour and two more vodkas for Mark, he gave me his life story. I nodded, oohed, ahhed, tut-tutted. The irony of my ‘mark’ being named Mark was not lost on me. My mission was to befriend him and over the next month, sap him of every scrap of military intelligence he had. My story was of a Midwestern farm girl thrown into the whirlwind of navy housing, a clique society I was not welcomed into.Mark told me, “I got jilted after twenty years of marriage. Wait. Exactly twenty years next week. But it ain’t gonna happen again. The bitch left me for an admiral! Can you believe that shit?”Mark looked disappointed. I tried to cheer him up. I talked to my glass of vodka: “My Twentieth anniversary was going to be next. ”“I do. That is the first.”“The first? We need to get you into see the doc and make sure that the baby and you are healthy.”“I’m healthy.”“How about little whozitz?”“Whozitz?”“I don’t know if it is a boy or girl.”“I guess you’re right.”“You need to see the Ob/Gyn monthly now.”“I don’t go as often as I should. I don’t like to.”“Why?”“Because I don’t like it when he is playing with my pussy.”“Kendi, doctors don’t play with your pussy. As far as I know, they put in a speculum and look around.”“And they flick your clit and give you orgasms to watch what your vagina does while he is looking.”“WHAT?!”“They do.”“Honey, a legit Ob/Gyn does not do that.”“They don’t?”“NO! Why would you think that?”“The first doctor I saw was in college, when I started seeing him, he did that. He said it was to make sure that a woman would enjoy going to the doctor. I asked the nurse and she agreed. When I knew that I was moving out here, I asked him for a referral, and he sent me to my doctor here.”“Shit!.
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